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Communication Conversations Dialogue Leadership Role Model

The number one skill that separates you from the rest

Do you like to win? 

Beating the competition in sports, business, debates, arguments, beating the budget, your own performance, brain, and life?

Winning feels good. That intensely satisfying feeling of accomplishment outperforming yourself or somebody else.

Most successful executives love to win. 

Take a look at profiles of executive teams, and you will often see an overrepresentation of leaders who love competition and winning.… Read the rest

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Asking Questions Conversations Growth Leadership Life Thinking

Why would you like people to think for themselves?

Would you like people to think for themselves?

I guess the answer is yes. Whether we’re a parent, a partner, a team member, or a leader, I hope you sincerely intend to let people make up their minds.

At this point, I pause to let you think about the question above before I continue.… Read the rest

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Asking Questions Communication Conversations Leadership Team effectiveness

Consider these unorthodox tips for better meetings

It’s been a few weeks since I read “More Time to Think.”

More Time to Think is the sequel to Time to Think. The first book addresses the theory behind creating a thinking environment culture. The second book is more of a practical how-to guide.

Both books are created on a scientifically justified premise that when companies can create a culture where each individual feels safe and encouraged to access, use and share their thinking, all performance indicators point in the right direction.… Read the rest

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Communication Conflict Conversations Dialogue Productivity

What would it look like if you did win?

There’s a commercial on Dutch TV about the risk of polarization. It’s short, cute, and full of great intentions.

You witness friends and a father and daughter argue over climate and immigrant issues. A voiceover enters the scene and states:

“What will it look like when you win this argument?”

It was followed by making the point that our world is becoming increasingly polarized and that it’s really up to us to do something about it.… Read the rest

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Conversations Courage Dialogue Mindset Values

Tough Love

When was your last tough love conversation?

What was tough about it? 

When and how did the love part show its face?

Before I continue, I assume you’re familiar with the principle of tough Love.

Tough Love is the ability to be direct, constructive, specific, and to the point about someone’s behavior while balancing this with a general feeling of empathy, understanding, connection, and compassion.… Read the rest

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Conversations Courage Feedback Growth Mindset

Four reasons why we fail at crucial conversations

Recently the world population reached 8 billion people. 

That’s 8 billion people that are part of a worldwide community of human beings that need each other to grow, flourish, be happy, and create fulfillment in their lives.

Roughly (very roughly) 20% of those 8 billion are children. That leaves about 6 billion adults.… Read the rest

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Change Conversations Dialogue Leadership Reflection

Old School

What do you do with milk that has expired? 

What do you do with clothes that are no longer in fashion? 

What do you do with beliefs that no longer fit in modern times?

Recently I heard the term ‘old school’ again from two different sources within two days.

It had been a while since I heard the term, so it triggered a reaction. … Read the rest

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Conversations Helping others Human Resources Team effectiveness Values

Team Help

I wonder what percentage of companies have some version of teamwork in their values.

All the companies I was employed by had some form of teamwork in their values. 

Teamwork, like integrity, is the value almost every company posts on its walls.

That last part of the sentence was intentional — ‘the posting on the walls’ part.… Read the rest

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Asking Questions Communication Conversations Culture Leadership

The Heart of your Business

Last week I conducted my training called “Growing Leaders and Culture.”

Its principles are based on effective dialogue.

Why?

Because dialogue is what makes people grow and deliver on their dreams.

You’ve done half the work if you understand that running a successful business is an accumulation of constructive, forward-looking, and growth-focused dialogues.… Read the rest

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Communication Conversations Self awareness

Watch your language

“We’ve discussed this several times before.”

Ok, if we already discussed this several times before, why are we discussing it again then?

Was it because we never decided what we needed to do? Or perhaps, we didn’t listen well enough? Or is it possible that you didn’t explain it adequately?

Or perhaps, you just don’t know how to have a proper conversation.… Read the rest

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Asking Questions Conversations Feedback Productivity Team effectiveness

Seven do-or-die questions to run a great meeting

I thought I would never write this insight.

Frankly, I still can’t believe that I do. 

If there’s one thing I would expect that any team leader knows how to do well, it’s to run a meeting.

But unfortunately, running an effective meeting is in the top two underdeveloped skills for leaders.
Read the rest
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Asking Questions Conversations Feedback Growth Self awareness

If someone took control of your life tomorrow, what’s the first thing they would change?

What a brilliant question.

And what a hard question to answer without showing a certain degree of vulnerability (read also my story “Vulnerability is a Differentiator”).

How honest are you going to be when answering this question?

Or perhaps, how self-aware are you to be able to answer the question properly?… Read the rest