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Communication Conversations Dialogue Leadership Role Model

The number one skill that separates you from the rest

Do you like to win? 

Beating the competition in sports, business, debates, arguments, beating the budget, your own performance, brain, and life?

Winning feels good. That intensely satisfying feeling of accomplishment outperforming yourself or somebody else.

Most successful executives love to win. 

Take a look at profiles of executive teams, and you will often see an overrepresentation of leaders who love competition and winning.… Read the rest

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Authenticity Dialogue Leadership Reflection Self awareness

How authentic are you?

workers, or friends how authentic you are? If so, what did they tell you? If not, why not? Are you an open book or a mystery? Do people really know you and what you stand for?

This is the last Insight of chapter two in my book. For now, the working title of the chapter is BE yourself first.… Read the rest

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Communication Conflict Conversations Dialogue Productivity

What would it look like if you did win?

There’s a commercial on Dutch TV about the risk of polarization. It’s short, cute, and full of great intentions.

You witness friends and a father and daughter argue over climate and immigrant issues. A voiceover enters the scene and states:

“What will it look like when you win this argument?”

It was followed by making the point that our world is becoming increasingly polarized and that it’s really up to us to do something about it.… Read the rest

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Conversations Courage Dialogue Mindset Values

Tough Love

When was your last tough love conversation?

What was tough about it? 

When and how did the love part show its face?

Before I continue, I assume you’re familiar with the principle of tough Love.

Tough Love is the ability to be direct, constructive, specific, and to the point about someone’s behavior while balancing this with a general feeling of empathy, understanding, connection, and compassion.… Read the rest

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Change Conversations Dialogue Leadership Reflection

Old School

What do you do with milk that has expired? 

What do you do with clothes that are no longer in fashion? 

What do you do with beliefs that no longer fit in modern times?

Recently I heard the term ‘old school’ again from two different sources within two days.

It had been a while since I heard the term, so it triggered a reaction. … Read the rest

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Asking Questions Change Coaching Dialogue Learning

Change starts with a conversation

I’m a certified facilitator in Fierce Conversations.

That’s not a joke.

If you thought it was, you’re probably wondering why something like training in conversations exists in the first place.

Well …

Because many of us do not know how to have a skillful conversation.

We don’t listen well.

We don’t articulate well.… Read the rest

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Dialogue Lead Yourself & Inspire Others Reflection Self awareness

People see right through you!

Many people believe others can’t read them. Unfortunately, that belief is more often than not false.

We see right through and smell it when something is wrong.

This week I was watching a debate between politicians. We have elections coming up in the Netherlands, so it’s debate time.

One politician, Wopke, was visibly nervous.… Read the rest

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Asking Questions Dialogue Leading Self

The next time you’re about to interrupt…

… Pause.

And ask a question instead. Here’s why.

The book I’m reading this week, “Socrates on sneakers”, discusses the art of asking good questions.

I received the book from a good friend of mine who knows I’m passionate about the power of asking great questions.

Great questions differentiate great leaders from good managers

We, human beings, don’t like asking questions.… Read the rest

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Clarity Dialogue Performance Team effectiveness Trust

The best TEAM wins

Yesterday evening Bayern Munich won the Champions League edition 2020. No worries, I’m not going to talk about football (soccer) in my blog. I’m just starting the blog of this week with a simple statement: the team that plays most like a TEAM wins. 

You can build a team of stars, hoping that their quality, in the end, will prevail for the win, but more often than not, it’s the best team and not the group of best players going home with the trophy.… Read the rest