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Asking Questions Self awareness

How BIG is your Ego?

We all have egos, but some of us are happy to demonstrate their ego a bit more than others.

This morning my meditation insight spoke about ego.

Whenever there’s thinking happening, ego is at play. So, therefore, by definition, every human being on this planet has ego.

Having ego and having AN ego are often confused.

We all have egos, but some of us are happy to demonstrate their ego a bit more than others.

They have AN ego.

I’m always amused by those people who claim they don’t have an ego.

Everyone has ego, so the pertinent question is not if, but how big?

In my totally subjective, non-statistical analysis, it’s people who claim they don’t have (an) ego, in fact, have the most oversized ego.

People with a big ego are easy to recognize.

FYI, I call those people BEPpers (Big Ego Person).

Beppers talk more in statements than in questions. Otherwise put, they’re sending most of the time instead of receiving.

Beppers are notoriously bad listeners. They love hearing themselves talking and show disrespect when the other person is talking.

Beppers are not necessarily bad people. They just have a high need to be recognized.

This is why (and again, not statistically proven) Beppers care a lot about how they look, what they possess, and how they come across.

It’s their deflection maneuver from who they really are.

Let’s pause for a second here (Remember. Pause is cue #1 from my playbook)

I wonder which Bepper you have in your mind right now.

Are you thinking about someone in your vicinity?

Someone you work with or perhaps share your life with?

Was your first thought about someone else, or yourself?

If not about yourself, why not?

Have you ever asked yourself the question of how big your ego is?

Do you care?

And if you don’t care, why not?

Have you ever asked someone else whether he or she believes you have a big ego?

If not, and you would now, are you ready for the answer?

More importantly, are you willing to explore what you could do to keep that big ego of yours in check a little more, Mr. or Mrs. Bepper?

Have you ever thought of the positive impact it (toning down your ego a little) may have on others, and therefore on you?

Because that’s the real story here.

It’s not about the size of your ego, really.

The size of your ego is just a symptom, not a root cause.

The real story here is that for some reason, you’re not letting people (family, friends, co-workers) into your life, into who you are.

And that stops you from being more effective than you are today.

It stops you from being your best self with a bit of humility.

I’m not going to speculate here what that reason may be for you.

I just know that when my ego gets a little big, there usually is too much self-confidence or fear at play.

Both are not productive and harm your effectiveness.

Too much self-confidence makes you blind to other, and often better, solutions.

Too much fear paralyzes you and stops you from exploring what’s possible.

Whatever the reason that increases the size of your ego, it’s worth exploring and learn how to work with it.

It makes you more effective and a better person.

And that’s my message at the end of this Friday’s insight.

Your turn: how big is your ego?

Do more of what makes you happy!

Erikjan

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Erikjan Lantink
Business & Leadership Coach

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