It’s a Thursday, shortly after noon.
I planned to write for one hour before I headed out for a massage.
I’m now thirty-six minutes into my hour of writing, and these are the first sentences I’m writing.
The words are not coming to me.
I scanned through my list of open topics, I have about twenty available at any time, but none inspires me. Today.
On any other day, it’s hard to choose which one to pick because there are so many I would like to pick.
Today is different.
So why is today different?
So far, it has been a normal day. I worked out, listened to a podcast about happiness, did some work, had lunch, and opened my laptop to start writing.
Zip. Nothing. Nada.
I was about to close my laptop and let things be when I changed my mind and decided to start writing anyway.
That’s what I’m doing now, with about four minutes left before I go — just seeing what’s coming to me while I put down the words on paper.
The one thing these first few minutes did for me was get to the question of why today is different.
That’s what I will figure out while getting my well-deserved massage.
Not deserved because of the writing accomplishments but because of all the sports I’ve been doing over the past ten days. My body needs a little care.
It’s roughly sixteen hours later when I resume writing this insight. Frankly, I’ve considered deleting the whole thing and making a fresh start.
But, having thought about it, my reflection may interest you.
It’s relevant because we all go through moments where we lack inspiration and are just staring ‘ins blaue hinein’ (staring into the blue sky).
I concluded that restlessness answered my question of why yesterday was different.
Even the massage I spoke about was restless. I didn’t enjoy it as much as I usually do. I was waiting for it to be over.
My thoughts kept taking me to the things I had planned and needed to do. It was hard to be present in the moment.
That same restlessness must have been present unconsciously when I was trying to do my writing.
I wasn’t present where I needed to be.
When your mind is elsewhere, you can’t focus on the task at hand. Even when it’s a task, I usually enjoy my writing.
So why was I concerned about the things I had to do?
Here I’m forcing myself to dig a little deeper and not to take my first reflection for the final answer.
Yesterday morning, I worked on my cash flow for the remainder of 2023. 2022 was a good year, and the first quarter of 2023 looks promising.
But that also creates expectations for the remainder of the year, if only with the tax office, where I have to pay quarterly advances.
Those expectations created a sense of urgency, which explained my restlessness.
I have my plan for the year, but you never know whether it will work out right, just like any other business.
After a good night’s sleep and a bit of reflection, that’s how I explain the restlessness I couldn’t place in the first place.
When I put the work in, like I’ve done the past few years, it will all work out fine.
Sometimes we just get stuck a little. No big deal.
Your turn: What makes you restless? How do you deal with it?
Do more of what makes you happy!
What are you waiting for?
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