Choices Courage Life Mindset Purpose

What do you NOT want?

Sometimes it’s good to know what you DON’T want, to figure out what you DO want.

You have one life!

That was, in essence, the core message of my last insight.

How you spend your life is totally up to you and nobody else. Please don’t come to me with the nonsense that how you live your life depends on others.

It doesn’t.

You decide.

You always, always, and always have a choice. 

If you’re not happy at work, leave. If you’re not satisfied with your relationship, leave. If you’re not happy with your body, start working out. If you want to live somewhere else, move somewhere else.

Nobody wants to do work they hate.

Nobody wants to be in a toxic relationship.

Nobody wants to be obese.

Nobody wants to live in a place they don’t like.

But a lot of people still accept one or more of these things.

Because they need the money, love the person, eat junk, and are stuck in one place.

And then, they make themselves miserable by watching social media and seeing all those people who are better off.

Claiming those people are just lucky.

I won’t claim that some people are not lucky, but most successful people have worked hard for their accomplishments.

You can envy an influencer with one million followers. 

But if that person is willing to invest many hours daily to post content and build an audience, they deserve the result.

They’ve chosen to do so.

I can envy the guy my age who has a six-pack for as long as I want, but he demonstrates his patience and determination. I’m still working on that.

He’s willing to work out vigorously, eat healthily, and has the patience to see through his body transforming.

Discipline and patience are two excellent qualities to have.

He knows he doesn’t want to be fat.

And that’s where I’m leading.

Sometimes it’s good to know what you DON’T want, to figure out what you DO want.

Erikjan Lantink

Knowing what you don’t want might give you that final push to do what you want.

When you’re not clear about the path forward.

When you’re afraid to go outside of your comfort zone.

When you’re worried about the consequences of a risky step in your life.

Make a list of the things you don’t want.

Write it down if you no longer want to feel trapped in a job you don’t love.

Could you write it down if you feel the love you felt one day has evaporated?

Could you write it down if you don’t like seeing yourself in the mirror?

Could you write it down if you no longer like the cold in the winter or the scorching heat in the summer?

Then ask yourself the question.

Ok, what would it take to say goodbye to what I don’t want?

What’s the worse thing that could happen if I jump off the diving board and do what I do want?

Is there a chance I will be happier, even if I don’t see that now?

Is there anybody who can support me in the process?

Do I believe enough in myself to go for it?

Will I survive?

That last question is the most important. 

Unless you know you won’t survive, and that chance is slim, you should seriously consider jumping.


Because you don’t want to regret what you should have done. 

You’ll survive. And you know that. 

So go for it.

It’s your only life

Your turn: Why not?

Do more of what makes you happy!


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Erikjan Lantink
Business & Leadership Coach

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